So how am I???
Believe it or not I’m perfectly fine, I know people doubt me when I tell them this but I truly am. The 3 of us headed off to Cefalu in Sicily for a week and had a really lovely time. It was nice to be not pregnant, worrying, stressing, panicking at every twinge, not checking every time I went to the toilet, eating shellfish, drinking wine, I relaxed for the first time in 6 months! We spent a week with my sister and her family in Canterbury on the way back and I ate and drank way too much but had a fabulous time so it was worth it.
It’s taken me a while to post as I’ve put the miscarriages to the back of my mind to be honest, I’m not going to dwell on them, there is no point, there is nothing I can do, it’s beyond my control and as I’ve said before I just think and hope my 2nd little one is just having a harder time getting here. I’m not going to think of the miscarriages as lost babies but the same baby each time and we will eventually get to meet him or her. My friend is pregnant at the moment and we were really looking forward to being pregnant together, I’m a bit sad we’re not as it is really great to have somebody to share it with especially when the baby is born. I don’t feel in any way jealous of her pregnancy and am completely fine talking about it with her, whereas the last time I felt jealous of every pregnant person I saw and was really shocked by my reaction when I met someone I knew who was due in Sept(my first pregnancy due date), it felt like a kick in the stomach. I think I’m dealing with it ok because I gave it the second shot and it didn’t work but at least I tried.
I’m taking a break for a while, I got my bloods checked on day 21 last month but it ended up being day 25 so my progesterone was low anyway so I’m getting them checked again this month! To be honest if the progesterone is low again I’ll probably be happy because it means there is a reason and I’ll have to take supplements next time but my DR doesn’t think this will be the case so we’ll just have to wait and see. I’m giving my body a break and trying to get it back on track, with being pregnant twice this year I had put on a bit of weight, I’ve also being suffering with bloating etc so I’ve gone on a lower-carb diet so that’s my focus for the moment. I’ve cut out all bread, pasta, rice, cereal and milk, I’ve been doing it for 2 weeks and I feel like a new person, I feel so much better. I’ve also lost 7lbs which is great but it’s not even about the weight for me, it’s just to feel normal. I seem to have a wheat intolerance and don’t react too well to milk either so it’s been a bit life changing for me so I’m going to make this a lifestyle change and continue to eat this way. Obviously the non tea drinking Italian is none too happy being Italian and all and I do miss the odd bowl of pasta but there is no way I’m going back.
I want to get “me” right before I start trying again so for now that’s my focus, the princess declared to my friend tonight when discussing the baby in her belly that
“my mammy is going to grow one in her belly next year”
I hope she’s right:)